Exhausted new mom battles demanding sister-in-law over unrealistic standards during Christmas stay: ‘The bedsheet thread count wasn’t up to her standards’

Author image for Etai Eshet
Etai Eshet • Editor
Jan 2, 2025 5:00 PM EST

The holidays are officially behind us, but because these are the perfect times for forced family bonding and unchecked passive aggression, some are still experiencing the aftermath.

This story is of an earnest multitasking wife and new mom who juggles an 8-month-old, a full-time job, and a house while hosting her brother-in-law and his delightfully high-maintenance, demanding diva of a wife

Last year, the sister-in-law accused her of being "cheap" for gifting her 6-year-old nephew a thoughtful mix of toys, games, and a Target gift card instead of the obviously essential iPad Pro she demanded. which makes total sense considering she got our new mother an absolutely necessary Dior, designer diaper bag while she was pregnant.

Fast forward to this year: SIL and BIL come to stay, but not without a long list of demands, including a dust-free house for SIL's newfound allergies. Despite the narrator's warning about the unavoidable chaos of life with a baby, SIL spends the visit nitpicking everything—from "messy" baby toys to the apparently tragic Costco-bought bedsheets. That leads our fed-up young mother to consider kicking SIL out, and keeping that door closed for future holidays.

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  • 01
    "Her Royal Highness, Bubble Girl, needs to stay elsewhere for upcoming holidays..."
    via Debashis Kumar
  • 02
    AITAH to tell my SIL she is no longer welcome to stay with us?
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 03
    My husband and his brother are each others best friend, despite having a huge gap between their age. So we it's only fair for us to have stay in each other's places during the holiday seasons. For context, we live close to their father and BIL lives close to their mother.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 04
    Last year, we stayed at their place and my SIL made a comment that I was being cheap on her son's Christmas gifts while she went all out and giving everyone branded things.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 05
    Mind you, I have asked her multiple times for what would her son like as Christmas gifts other than the iPad she specifically told my husband to get. He is 6 years old. I don't think I want to give him the latest iPad Pro because his mother said so. Since she didn't give
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 06
    me any other options, we went and get him some interactive games that he can play on his Nintendo, a Nerf gn, and also Target gift card. He was extremely happy with that and was excited when we took him to Target to get him some new toys.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 07
    I was pregnant during the holidays last year, so she got me a Dior diaper bag. Which I clearly did not ask for, or care for because come on, it's just a diaper bag. I don't need an extremely fancy one, just functional. But I am still grateful anyway.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 08
    This year, it's their turn to come to our place. She asked us to make sure that the house is clean and dust free because she is now allergic to dust. Sure, no problem. But I did give them a heads up, I have an 8 months old now.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 09
    Cheezburger Image 10449438208
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 10
    I can't promise extreme clean, but I will try my best. She twisted everything I said to her and informed my BIL that I, specifically me, no longer welcome them to stay at our house. Like, what?
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 11
    After a few back and forth, my BIL put his foot down and tell her that they'll be staying with us.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 12
    They left earlier today and I can't be happier. The last few days have been a torture. She comments on little things, messy kitchen, baby toys everywhere, even the bedsheet count apparently is not up to her standard.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 13
    WIBTAH if I go to my husband and tell him that she no longer welcome to our house?
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 14
    UPDATE: For those of you who suggested a cage fight, my heart is agreeing with you. Diaper bag filled with soiled diapers? You're my soul sisters
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 15
    For the record, I didn't spend more than $200 on my nephew but he was really happy with his new toys cause again.. he's 6, well 7 now. But that's beside the point. My BIL always encourage him to stay off gadgets as
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 16
    much as he can, that's also why I thought an iPad Pro was a bit much for him then. Was I being cheap? You tell me - I still won't care cause I think what we did was right and just for the kid.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 17
    And bedsheet thread count was 680 last I check. It was from Costco. So I guess that's not up to her standards even though that's the same one she has in her guest room
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 18
    Does my BIL know she's a nut job? Yes, she grew up as an only child from an upper middle class family. And he loves her. I won't judge their marriage either way - no matter how dysfunctional it is.
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 19
    But to bring it to a close, we decided to discuss things with both of them. They're still welcome no matter what, she just needs to understand that I have my hands full with full time job and a baby. I can't always keep things
    via Potential_Client_413
  • 20
    straight in my house, I don't even know where I put my keys or coffee half the time. And if she's not happy with that, well we gonna leave that up to my BIL. I know BIL and nephew are not gonna be THAT picky.
    via Potential_Client_413

  • Through it all, our girl endures with remarkable composure, cracking jokes but ultimately standing her ground. She resolves to keep the door open for BIL and her nephew while subtly letting SIL know that her absurd standards don't dictate this household. Cheers to her courage—and Costco sheets!

  • 21
    ImportantLog2 NTA, you deserve to feel comfortable in your own home. Your husband ought to back you up on this and let them know that her behavior towards you is unacceptable.
    via ImportantLog2
  • 22
    misstiff1971 she can afford to buy you a Dior diaper bag - they can afford to stay in a hotel.
    via misstiff1971
  • 23
    Ok-Try-857 NTA. I would definitely have a conversation with your husband to get on the same page. No one should be made to feel like that on their own home. Especially by a family member.
    via Ok-Try-857
  • 24
    Also, the dust allergy excuse is just a way for her to try and control you by making you prepare for her majesty's visit.
    via Ok-Try-857
  • 25
    If your forced to have her over again, make a complaint box with paper and pen where she can submit her complaints formally but never verbally
    via Ok-Try-857
  • 26
    Somuchallthetime Stop catering towards her. I rarely talk to my sister in law bc of sh like this. If she texts me I respond with "ask husband he'll know the answer" "Let husband know" "that's a husband question" even if my husband is standing right next to me.
    via Somuchallthetime
  • 27
    Let your husband and his brother deal with her. She can get a hotel or shut her mouth
    via Somuchallthetime
  • 28
    LaLunaLady1960 NTA. Her Royal Highness, Bubble Girl, needs to stay elsewhere for upcoming holidays.
    via LaLunaLady1960
  • 29
    There's no reason for you to be made uncomfortable in your own home by HRH. She sounds like a narcissistic snob. I would refer her to an upscale hotel in the area to ensure no dust, no messy kitchen and high thread counts for her "Princess and the Pea" bed.
    via LaLunaLady1960

Tags

family drama aita AITAH brother mother sister-in-law siblings family feud favoritism sister in law wedding sister grandmother brother in law Father
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